just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
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