It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
