I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
