Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
