I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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