I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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