it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
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