he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize