She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
