Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
