Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Randomize
