hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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