Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
