Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
