You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
