update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
