I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
