What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
