you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
