It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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