I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
