He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
