I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
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We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
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Damn victory sex feels great
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
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