I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
