just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
