I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
My ass is underappreciated
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
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I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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