i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!