just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
