i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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