How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
