The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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