That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
