Me. At least after what I've been through.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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