she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
