She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize