Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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