Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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