I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
