My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
