Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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