do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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