i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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