kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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