Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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