Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
