i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
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