I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
you made out with another girl for some wings
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
