Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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