i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
