just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
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