He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
