and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
