I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
