ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
