Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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