standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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