Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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