No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
