I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize