so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
