grandma shit on top of the toilet
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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