Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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