I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
