No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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