scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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