I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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