She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
