He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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