I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I have fence marks all over my body
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
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